I set up my new iPhone late last night, and the image on the lock screen reminded me of a strange conversation.
A few months ago, I was in the hospital. A young guy came to wheel me out of my room. I was flat on my back, headed for an MRI or a CAT scan. I recognized him—he’d taken me somewhere else a couple of days earlier. (After a while, the tests become a blur.) My phone was on my lap.
In the elevator, he said, “I remember you. I’ve took you before.”
“Yep, a couple of days ago.”
He nodded at my phone. “So, the screen—is that your wife?”
I sighed. And I may have rolled my eyes. “No. An actress who was a friend of mine. Elsa Lanchester.”
He paused, brain gears grinding. “OK. That’s cool. When I saw the picture I thought, If that’s his wife, this dude must be really old.” Another pause. “So what movies was she in?”
“The Bride of Frankenstein, Murder by Death, The Private Life of Henry VIII. Dozens more—That Darn Cat, Witness for the Prosecution, Easy Come, Easy Go, Mary Poppins. She was married to actor Charles Laughton.”
Blank stare. Head shake. “Don’t know ’em.” Then, seemingly eager to connect: “I got a song you’ll like.” He filled the elevator with noise by some rapper—OT7 Quanny? Nino Paid? Who knows.
After imaging, he wheeled me back. “So, are you married?”
“Yes. Thirty-two years.”
“Cool. What’s her name?”
“Jacob,” I said without missing a beat. I lifted my left hand, showing my wedding ring. “I’m gay. I’m married to a guy.”
“Uh… OK, cool.”
And that was it. The last words we spoke—and the last time I saw the twenty-something. Back in my room, I thought, “What the hell was that all about?”
While I continue to be perplexed by that elevator conversation, it has become a gentle reminder of how two people, having had divergent experiences, may react so very differently to the same image, or book, or song, or thought, or law, or policy. I’m still working through the implications. I’m still learning.
Elsa’s photo remains on my lock screen as a reminder of a kinder, friendlier, gentler time. I’ll share how we became friends in a future post. It’s a cute, uplifting story.