Picture it. Your house, New Year’s Eve. You have friends over; it’s not quite midnight. Your guests are stuffed from eating chicken wings and your famous, crab dip. They’re getting a tad bit tired and restless. What to do, what to do?

It’s December 31st, so—of course—you have Champagne on ice, and you remember that you once saw a video of people at a military party come alive and cheer when some officer or other opened a bottle of the bubbly with his saber. You remember you have an old machete somewhere in your don’t-use-it-but-don’t-want-to-throw-it-away closet. You’re on to something, champ.

You Google “open Champagne with a giant knife” and the images you find are amazing! People are literally holding fountains in their hands! You discover the magic is a process called sabrage and you’re certain it will wake up your friends, impress them, and reignite your celebration. What could possibly go wrong? You’re a genius.

Hopefully, you have more than one bottle of Champagne. And, great health insurance.

Global BC Morning News host Steve Darling and Four Seasons’ Wine Director Emily Walker demonstrated how to saber champagne, but things didn’t go according to plan. Twice, they didn’t.

Fortunately, there are lots of ways to open a bottle of the good stuff without having to use the blunt edge of a large knife without losing half of its contents and possibly your hand or eye.

Here’s Erik Segelbaum of DC’s Le Diplomate to show you how to properly uncork your bubbly.

However you pop the cork, please pop it safely. And have a wonderful New Year.